Mick Brady: Lyrics
I Love My Wife
Her mother paints with mascara
To hide her bloodshot eyes
She wears stretch pants and a tiara
There's grooves worn in her thighs
Her grandma sure ain’t no better
She leaves her teeth on the floor
I wish she’d button up her sweater
I wish she'd shut the bathroom door
I love my wife, I love her a lot
Even with her lazy brother in our basement
Sleeping on a fold-out cot
I love my wife, I love my wife
Her daddy is missing a finger
He cut himself when he shaved
He once went on Jerry Springer
That's where he got his tattoo engraved
Bertha is my wife’s first cousin
She's quite attractive, but mostly to flies
She drinks six packs by the dozen
She orders her sushi fried
I love my wife, I love her so much
Even when she makes me risk my life hunting
With her lunatic Uncle Dutch
I love my wife, I love my wife
Her cousin Roy fell on a fence post and got a ticket
on the way to hospital ... for driving while impaled
Her niece Ronnie Mae tried to breed three-legged dogs....
Well, everybody she knew had one
Her kid sister tried to give herself liposuction....
using a drill and a straw
Her Aunt Betsy thought a lobotomy
would make her ear lobes look smaller.......
She don’t think that no more
I love my wife and that’s the truth
Even when her nephews make believe it’s raining
By pissing off my Volkswagen’s roof
I love my wife, I love my wife
I don’t think much of her family
But I love my wife